Don’t do MMA, kids. Ever.
I kinda mean it. Unless maybe you want to. Or hate your brain. Which I get. Kinda hard not to.
A recent meta-analysis in the Journal “Science, Fool!” shows that at least 69 out of 10 interactions with MMA matricopulists end in super severe ego death[0].
That’s close to 7 in 1 people. While I’m neither a statistic nor a clinic- I’d say that’s significant. Especially when you wake up in one. Missing your best part: Your ego.I know. I know. It sounds nuts. Entirely insane.
Almost as insane as the idea that human behaviors could possibly be personal.
Which I think calls for immediate capital punishment.
You what? Disagree? Unexpected. And kinda rude. Yeah you.
Ok, calm down. Truce. Yes, my archetype probably is “making y’all feel normal”. Which makes me proud and emotional. Wet, even. But since you’ve already wasted your valuable time reading this far into this garbage truck of an article, you may as well hear the actual argument. Not that I’d take it personal if you didn’t. *polite cough*
What if- [Carmina Burana starts playing] What if– we found ourselves, presently, in the situational circumstance, of having strayed (figuratively), too far (relationally) from the
GreekLatin etymon of the semantic “Person” subtree of the Logos, to ensure ontological purity of the bayesian priors we continuously feed our simian behavioral compiler chain?
“Hm?” you say? Let’s check!Person. From Latin: Persona. Per-sona. Per/sonare.
“The mask through which (per) resounds the voice (of the actor)” [Mouss, Marcel (1985). Category of the Person. Cambridge University Press. p. 14.]A mask. For what?!
The ego?
Egon??
Egon Mask?!I know. I know. Let’s breathe. For Africa. Beautiful. Great. Wow.
Now then. Let’s postpone psychosis over the fact that there’s an actor acting on some sort of script, for now. And focus on Egon, the mask.
If Egon would, hypothetically, act on its own, even re-act, or take things a certain way- What kind of mask would Egon be? Right, the mask of a crazy person. Or some sick DARPA experiment. That actually works. Both of which, by definition, allow for exactly one logical outcome: Capital punishment.
And there you go. Logical perfection. Impossible to argue against. Glad we agree.Hang on though. Hang on. *Secret document noises* What does this per-son thing map onto? What role is Egon playing, within whatever the word “mind” fails to describe? One of them IFS manager parts? Some shitty ego state? Or- no. It couldn’t be. Not- The self- itself?!
Reducing whoever is reading this, or at least is sufficiently delusional to identify as such, to some neurosemiotic proxy layer? Some stock photo PR tool pleb-actor? Reading thoughts off’ some invisible teleprompter within the simian inference emulation layer?
Hang on-
New teleprompter.
I-
I dream of you at night sometimes. (Uh?)
Riding the spirit of the depths. Only wearing your shadow. (Gross, wtf?)
I wish I could put you in touch with the sick fuck who thought of that.
So you could take it personal.
But you can’t.
Take it Egon.
FUCK I’m late for MMA.
[0]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ego_deathSilence kills. Keine Macht der Stille.